I feel like the whole world just isn’t existing, but merely scraping through life as an atom in the absence of nothing. 


This is my first post since, god knows, FOREVER.

So update on my life (so far):

1) I officially like someone. Who is not Calvin Harris.

2) I found out Calvin Harris is a drunk asshole

3) Calvin Harris PERFORMS drunk. Which is totally shitty, because that means he doesn’t respect the space he’s given to perform in, which is just totally unprofessional and grotesque.

3) I’m starting to like Pitbull’s music (except for calle ocho- that song is fuckin’ annoying yo.)

4) I think I’m gonna fail maths.

5) If you do know the guy whom I am heavily infatuated with, you would know our rich background together around 5 months ago when the world was a blur.




So. Hello there.

Sorry for not blogging for the time-span of eternity. I’m 14 and I am wrecked with homework, sex, and drugs. 

Hallelujiah baby!


Honestly, I think people think the life of a teen is riddled with adversity and identity-crisis and puberty and love-knots and god knows what other shit, but in reality… It is.

They just don’t understand why. I mean, they blame us for going through this “teenager” phase in our lives, when they don’t know what to blame except us. 

Wait no, that didn’t make sense.

They don’t know WHY we are going through the apparent phase in our lives!!! And it’s really annoying to know that they just accept us as “different” or “angst” or “morbid” when we just really want to be left alone rather than be fucked up by old people’s incessant complaints about us trying to be anti-social and different.

I guess it’s because we’re maturing, and we’re sick of being like other people, and we want to know who we really are. Teenager “adversities” are just plain horrible to go through, but it’s something new. Something that we need to go through to be who we really are. People can’t accept that we just want to be left alone, maybe it really is a “phase”, but honestly, I think it’s a good one. We get horny, we get crazy, we get drunk, drugged, I think all these new experiences either out of curiosity or pressure all adds up to who we become when we grow up. 

And then there are the parents.

Oh god.


They just can’t accept that we just don’t want them around! I know when we were 5 or so, we used to cling to their legs, sleep in their beds, go take car rides with them, but that was when we were so annoyingly dependent. 

Honestly, parents complain their babies need them too much. Then when their kids turn into teens, they complain that their children don’t spend enough time with them.



I think they just want attention. 






Diet Me Guilty.

July 2, 2009

Honestly. Fat cranky teachers need to diet.

Really. It is not healthy for them, and definitely not healthy for their oh-so-underweight students (not that I’m anywhere NEAR healthy either-but oh well). And they get so pissy that all their negative energy just emits out like radiation from the hiroshima nuclear bomb that it kills all the little people around that fat little blob.

Fat teachers who are cranky and have gigantic sweat pits tend to be more irritable then healthy skinny little kate-moss wannabes. And I think it’s because they sweat more, get bothered like a pesky little mosquito, and then become blood-sucking leeches who try to suck your entire youth out of you to feed their own inhumane thirst for human blood because they take pleasure from the littlest things like making people half their age cry their itty bitty eyes out.

So to all fat shits out there:



I love that picture. I really really do.

Even though it is utterly disturbing and creepy and it really makes me want to scroll down the page, I think it’s such a wave of brilliance that it smacks people who are stupid enough not to have that genius of an idea right in the face.

Well, people like me.


I am still addicted to Calvin Harris. It is not a healthy addiction.

But at least I don’t stalk him on a severe scale like a crazy korean-girl fanatic right??


Anyhow,I have decided to learn a little about:

1) Wanna learn how to play the guitar (because of the recent obsession with “Immigrant Song” by Led Zepplin)\

2) Learn how to mix my own music (I will buy a mixer/whatever-I-need if I have to!!)

3) Learn how to write my own music (I’m fuckin’ straight out SICK of playing/singing other people’s stuff (and I must admit,some of those stuff are quite shit) because there’s no passion in playing other people’s stuff if you don’t like it).

4) Learn how to write basic “house” music because I like house music and I wanna try it. 😀

5) Learn physics and chem like a proper schoolgirl should (dammit).

6) Study what I can, learn how to play



Things I want:

1) A nice guitar that doesn’t have a broken string

2) A Calvin Harris CD since TYEN hasn’t passed me mine yet (refer to the post “OH YES!”).

3) A Quantic CD

4) To at least go for 1 musical audition (I have been missing out on so much, my life is practically non-existent).

3) Go for ONE concert and be in the mosh-pit (prefferably with Samantha because she won’t be able to stop head-banging for a week… FALL OUT BOY BABY!!)

4) A jazz vocal lesson (which school made me more than a year ago stop because they were “scared” that it would clash with my “classical” training technique when all I bet they were doing was just tryna’ stay classical that’s it).

5) A sleepover with the two greatest people to ever be involved in my life. Ever. Yes,they are girls,but I am perfectly straight mind you. I am ever-so young at 14 years of age.



I honestly am I in love with that picture. Old men and Pamela Anderson-wannabes humour me so.



I think I’d better go now.

Ciao Bella!

Busty Bosom.

June 20, 2009


Figaro figaro figaro!!!


I started to consider job opions. It’s amazing how teenagers can get paranoid (and not to mention carried away) with choosing their future career paths.



Nawh,I might get a personality disorder from playing too many different roles. As they say, “You get lost in your character”. Well,of course,it depends whether I get to play any role, which is a worrying factor as well. Secondly, I’ll be living paycheck-to-paycheck. Which trust me, can be a shit thing for me because I think I can blow off one paycheck in a couple of months.



I would probably have to compete with nice, white, disney singers now. The world is getting so maintstream. Ugh.



I could never do justice to the world. It wouldn’t be fair to put this chick in a suit and let her biasedness take over.



I am so screwed, career-wise.


Photos1 066

Facebook is pissing me off.

It is either that, or safari is unwilling to load and change my profile picture.

It’s. Just. ONE. FUCKING. PICTURE. Dammit.



Zomg, I love his hair. Anyone with such a sexy accent and such sex-worthy hair can turn this good little laundry-doing stereotypical asian girl ON. 



Whoa, that was weird.


Hum Hallelujiah!

(Btw, for confirmation, I DID NOT get these photos because if I had, I would have had a 10-page long blog about how fucking awesome the show was and how sexy calvin harris was(still is) and etc. etc.)


I am officially heavily infatuated with this sonofagun.


Fan kids’ last day was yesterday.

So was tiffany’s and fat’s. 

I was/am sad.


048 (2)

(Stella Maris Irawan is the above that the viewer shall see is the above on the illustration disillusion that that is me when it is indeed Stella Maris Irawan henceforth the disillusion that the above Polaroid is the one writing is indeed false.)



It’s been awhile since I have last posted a decent posting. Forgive me.

I’ve been really busssyyy…!!!

And right now, I am addicted to CIBO MATTO. Japanese indie-rock rocks my sox siaaxxx.

And yes samantha, I adore you for sticking up to those low-life make-up laden girls who speak in broken english-Chinese-singlish-magigarish.

Apparently, I am going to leave for Melbourne sooner which is good, because I sick of physics and mathematics and biology and humanities and a dozen other subjects which could drown the world in intellectual thought and unnecessary information which is only useful if you are going into that specified field of knowledge.

But I am going to right a good essay about how the media portrays masculinity and femininity.

And that essay shall be so great that it’s awesomeness shall bathe the world in it’s yellow, chicken-ish glow that all humanity shall be blinded by such a bright glow of light.

My world domination plan is coming along nicely. 😀


Lips,Pop Art

I feel extremely guilty for using that photo again, but it was so seductive I couldn’t resist!!!

I think Hugh Laurie and Hugh Jackman are such sexy shits. They deserve to have a monument erected in honor of their sexiness conributed to this average gamut society.

I’ve been feeling like a frog recently.


Andy_warhol_1I found this really cool book on Andy Warhol in my school library!

It shows 365 paintings/portraits/photographs/pop-art-ish stuff all by Andy Warhol!!

And he did covers for porn magazines! How cool izzat?!

(It’s amazing how my school library don’t censor their books… There’s this whole dictionary of slang where I found out there’s such thing as a “fuck-you lizard”. COOLIOS!)

And he was in so many gay relationships. And one particular guy called Jon/John (i am thinking hard) wrote him so many cute little greeting cards for mothers’ day and stuff like that!! Awww.


Yes, I think  I did, but I’ll mention it again. 🙂

And they had pictures of the porn magazines in the book. It wasn’t that appealing though. Floppy penises everywhere. So unappetising.




AndyWarhol_campbell soupYum.

Yes, anyhow, no one shall ever be greater than SALVADOR DALI!!!

Arriving in a white rolls royce filled with cauliflower is totally genius.

And yet, the world is missing great people like Salvador and Kahlo and god knows, Beethoven, when instead we have corrupt officials and a whole lotta mess going on in this world.

Peace In The Middle East.


Forgive me if my latest posts have been rather picture-less.

And forgive me if I have not been blogging.

I have been busy.



OMG, I am sick- again. The second time in 2 weeks.

So right now i’m just stuck at home watching korean documentaries without english subs. 

I am weird.

And my throat is so fucking uncomfortable I could kill a cow.


I failed my critical listening by 1 fucking mark.






Anyhow, I promise I’ll blog better after I am over this bite-the-world phase. 

I. Have. NOT. Gone. For. Rehearsals. For. One. Week.


And. It. Is. Killing. Me. 



I. Will. Bite. Someone. You. Hear.

Either. That. Or. Someone. Dies.




You. Have. Been. Warned.

There was once a boy.

Who was horny as hell.

But he missed out on puberty.

And down, his sex life fell.


He never had a blowjob.

He never will have one.

For all girls shall (and will) be taller than him.

Hence his sex life is rather dim.


He looks like a leprechaun.

But with a more oriental feel.

He’s a Justin Timberlake wannabe.

Just that he’ll never have a Jessica Biel.


So give the poor boy a rest.

And leave him to his fate.

He is (sadly) still a virgin.

And his andropause is late. 


[If the picture (below) appears on the right, then the picture formatting is screwed)




I love cabaret! —>


Honestly, I have always wanted to be a cabaret girl since I was 5.

But now, I think cabaret emcees are just pimps with class and a tux.

And cabaret girls are just cheap little girls who can sing, dance, and act.



Well, of course there is something wrong with that if you are one conservative nun, but oh well. You can’t convert the whole world now, can you!


I am in love with the cast of rent the musical. I think the goofy white guy is utterly cute!

I would have married him if he were 20 years younger.

Ha. Ha.



1) Go for as many auditions as possible

2) Stop slacking in voice homework

3) Take care of my voice

4) Beg parents to go to new york

5) Beg mother to let me celebrate Halloween (Yes, don’t laugh, my mother does not celebrate halloween)



(Aren’t they the SEX?! I love them. Honestly. Since I was 12, I have been a big fan.)

If you knew them, you’d know. 



(And the rest of BB, but oh well, I would prefer him anytime babe!)